Tell me a joke

Tell me a joke or something funny. I’m melting in the sunshine working on a 3 day House and need a laugh to keep me going untill beer o’clock

… and don’t pretend I know what I’m doing. I’ve heard that one before lollzz

Edit. Also the one about kangaroos and sheep making wooly jumpers. Heard that one too

What do you get when you pour root beer into a square glass?

Beer.

1 Like

What side of a dog had the most hair

1 Like

The balls side?

The outside

Why do cows wear bells?

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Snowballs

2 Likes

Cause their horns don’t work

Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?

Cause they got big digits

2 Likes

Cuz they got big fingers!! Haha that was my favorite joke when I was a wee lad. Got it off a laffy taffy and made my dad tell it all the time.

1 Like

What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers?
A shepherd

source: New Zealand Jokes - Kiwi Jokes

I just read like 12 of these jokes and I don’t get any of them.

Neither.

There were some generic Irish jokes changed to say Kiwi.

There were some nonsensical nonsense that no one understands

And there was some other weird jokes that are too specific for me to understand.

That’s very disappointing I was hoping you would get them.

Two house painters walk out of an AA meeting… Hahaha!

I crack myself up!

Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar.

Bartender looks at them and says “sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here”

3 Likes

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One of them was a salted.

What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.

1 Like

Panda walks into a bar. Orders a sammich, shoots the bartender and walks out. That’s what Panda’s do. Eats chutes and leaves.

3 guys walk into a bar. Fourth one ducks.

2 Likes