I’ve been a member here for 10 years so I have seen lots of arguments and “drama” especially during the Winter when people have free time on their hands.
I have never been run off the forum but I do take self-imposed breaks from posting and reading fairly often. I do the same thing with all social media. In fact on Sundays I try to stay away from the Internet altogether just to get a mental break. Recently I said some unkind things on the forum to @Innocentbystander and once I crossed that line I realized that it was time for a break. So I have been gone for the last 9 weeks or so. Someone recently tagged me in something and I came back to see all this mess.
I think that this forum is a valuable resource to anyone in this business, but like any forum it is easy to allow ourselves to behave online in ways that we never would in person. If we don’t check ourselves we can easily become self-centered egomaniacs who can’t even be bothered to rustle up a little respect for one another. The anonymity of the forum loosens our inhibitions and makes us feel freedom to be rude because we don’t have to deal with someone’s immediate reaction like we would if we said the same thing in person.
I like being a part of this forum. It has shortened my learning curve and since I am still learning even after 10 years I appreciate the people who contribute valuable information to help me grow my business. I feel that the main thing that draws people to this forum is a desire to learn from professionals so that they too can become professionals. After all if a person didn’t care they wouldn’t even bother to ask. I often talk to my employees about “being professional” as what sets us apart from the competition. Maybe if we could all see our activity on the forum as an extension of our business and a representation of who we are as a person, and tried to act more professionally, it might be a better place.
P.S. I tried to post this as a reply to a thread but the thread was locked before I could post it, hence a new topic.
I agree 100% And I always try to adhere to it. This forum (and any other place where you interact with others) is an extension of your business in every way. Burning bridges anywhere can cost you customers and/or potentially useful, networking contacts.
I logged off this morning knowing I don’t know my password and my personal constitution states that I’m required to try various passwords until I’m locked out before I reset it. I had to reset it just to say this:
Hey Steve. I remember the post you made right before you left, and i had assumed that was why you left. If I remember correctly, what you said was a fairly accurate assessment. You shouldn’t apologize for speaking the truth.
I was also the guy that recently tagged you, and said that i thought it would be good for the forum if you came back.
Respect is important, but lets not forget that that applies to EVERY member. All four of the people that have posted in this thread so far have at one point or another made scathing posts towards IB, for being disrespectful to other members. That is no coincidence. The fact that we have become accustomed to IB’s behavior, does not necessarily make that behavior respectful. If nothing changes, then we will still experience people unaccustomed to his behavior having outbursts just like we did, which will often lead to drama like we are experiencing.
Which is fine. But lets be honest about the situation.
It’s like the old saying: if drama follows you around in life, is the problem with other people, or is it you?
I began my post with the fact that I joined this forum in Oct of 2007 which I think was nearly the very beginning of its existence. In those years I have been around and away for varying periods of time and so I have seen just about every thing imaginable happen here. I have been rubbed the wrong way by many posters here and at the WCRA forum but when I step away and reflect back on it I realize that my own reactions often escalate the negativity unnecessarily.
I can tell you have a very analytical, lawyer like mind and a high sense of fairness. My middle son is the same way. I can also tell you are educated and articulate by the careful and deliberate way you write, so I think you will understand that I am not trying to be a moderator or referee in determining who is right or wrong. I was pointing to the fact that I personally allowed myself to get frustrated and attack someone ad hominem rather than keeping the dialog professional and sticking to core issue.
When I talk to my guys I tell them that we are professionals and as professionals we dress like professionals, we talk like professionals, we carry ourselves like professionals, and we work like professionals. I violated my own code of professionalism by attacking Will and Greg and making it personal and I regret that because I would never have done that to either one of them if we were face to face simply because I have more class than that.
I won’t apologize for speaking truth or defending my opinion. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not here to to be anyone’s doormat, but I will try to engage in a more professional manner and I’m saying I hope that others will too.
I really would have liked not to be in this situation in the first place. However we got a few pot stirrers and it’s became a joke. I guess I could try a bit harder to not respond to these people like @Innocentbystander
