Best prize for the worst joke

Way Off Topic
1

''Twas the night before Christmas, when
All thro the forum
Not a member was posting
Not even our dumb dumb (think2much)

The hoses were drained, and coiled with care
In the hopes that Spring soon would be there

The trailers were nestled, all snug in their sheds
While visions of soft washing danc’d in their heads

It’s pretty quite in here right now. I assume it’s cold in America so you’re all freezing cold and snowed off work. Or just making merry and drinking too much :beers: while I’m sweating it out in summer.

In light of this unexpected period of _intense busy-ness_emphasized text__on the forum…

I propose a joke competition.

RULES

  1. Make me laugh
    1.1 bonus points if other people laugh

  2. Waste my time. Triple points if anyone skips work to check the forum for new jokes

  3. Jokes is a broad definition. Humour. Nonsense. Poetry. Bad poetry. Abuse (mild) of window cleaners are all welcome. Funny customer fails also acceptable.

  4. Refer to rule 1

PRIZE

TBC. I’ll buy the biggest funny guy something. Dunno what yet.

1 Like
2

@Innocentbystander “New Zealand” is not a valid joke

3

So maybe some of y’all have heard this from me before at round tables or what not. My best buddy and I are fishing on the river in my little crappie boat. It’s stick steer so I’m in the front and he is directly behind me. He was taking great delight in shooting a BB gun in the air and simultaneously throwing a bb at my neck. Each time I flinched and for more annoyed. Later in the day he has to pee. He is a big ole 300 pound boy. As he balances in the back of the boat peeing I shoot him in the butt with a daisy red rider and fire my pistol in the air at the same time. He went out the back, into the water screaming that he was mortally wounded.

2 Likes
4

That’s awesome!

5

Dang good thing you didn’t get your hands mixed up and fired the bb gun in the air while shooting him with your handgun.

2 Likes
6

A guy walks out of a watch and clock shop carrying a big grandfather clock he just had repaired. He bumps into the town drunk, drops the clock which shatters on the ground. He yells at the drunk and asks “Why don’t you watch where you’re going”? The drunk replies, “Why don’t you wear a wristwatch like everybody else”?

7

Dear @Infinity

This is the joke thread… please post pictures of your tiny car with lift kit :joy:

Preferably driving through some dramatic tough terrain… like a puddle :red_car::red_car::red_car:

Hehehe

8

I’m working on it, lol…

I found a puddle, but it was frozen

IMG_5528.JPG2470×1553 782 KB

1 Like
9

Quick Batman! To the supermarket car park!

1 Like
10

[to be read in the voice of Jeff Foxworthy]:

  • If part of your official company uniform includes a ‘wife-beater’ t-shirt, you might be a pressure washer

  • If you’ve ever spoken the phrase, “hold my beer and watch this…” while on a jobsite, you might be a pressure washer

  • If you’ve ever received a DUI, for operating under the influence of bleach fumes, you might be a pressure washer

  • If you flunked math in high school, but can now calculate fractions of percents in your head, you might be a pressure washer

  • And if you somehow think that insulting pressure washers, on a pressure washing forum is a good idea, you might be a window cleaner

3 Likes
11

I think the brave little toaster (without lift kit) was much more hilarious-er, when seen on some of the trails and “class 4 highways” I traveled :joy:

It looked more like this:

IMG_5531.PNG640×1136 534 KB

12

Use that laser beam on the roof to melt a path through the snow drifts

1 Like
13

What’s the spotlight really for?

  1. Spotlighting animals at night

  2. Fighting crime

  3. When you arrive at a customers doorstep someone shines the light behind you and sings “aaaaaaaahhhhhh”

1 Like
14

Bahahaha-, seriously. This wasn’t even aimed at the camera (I’m sure that would have whited out the whole photo)
Did someone order a sun? :sunny:

IMG_5527.JPG1959×1327 422 KB

^^ The vanity plate is meant to be ironic, this time of year :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

1 Like
15

I’ve always wondered…

Does four-slices little motor produce enough power to operate the spotlight and turn the wheels at the same time?

16

If you use a low pressure soft wash gun you only need one hand to hold it.

So you can hold your own beer :beers: .#productivity

1 Like
17

Shhh- we talked about this. No revealing my secret identity

Can’t risk the sunburn. But, the answer is really:

(4) Helping friends remove those tattoos that they really regert

Yes. Everywhere except hills :mount_fuji:

1 Like
18

Hey guys!

1 Like
19

Needs a better punchline… :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

20

Shhhhhh. I’m hiding in peaceful exile here. Don’t tell anyone